Right Now

Acceptance is a right but forgiveness is a privilege.

The engines roared loudly as the large aircraft taxied across the runway. Moments and memories flashed in front of Derek’s eyes as the plane waited to take off. He had been in this very spot so many times before and never could have imagined that it would all end this way. As the noise from the turbines grew louder so did the heartbeat Derek could hear in his head, all of his past came forwards and reminded him of everything he had been through in his twenty four years of life. He could hear the sound of the pilot adjusting the flaps for take off and the clunking of the various components of the airplane. Slowly the plane crept forward.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking”

An introduction not unfamiliar to Derek rang out over the intercom.

“The tower has just given us clearance for take off and we will be leaving the ground shortly, we would like to wish you an excellent flight and thank you for flying Air Canada”.

His heart beat faster and faster with every second that passed. Then like a rollercoaster at a theme park the aircraft shot forward pushing Derek backwards into his already uncomfortable seat. As they rocketed down the runway Derek could see the outside world whizzing past him much like the thoughts running through his head. As the front of the aircraft jolted off the ground everything stopped for Derek, all the thoughts and memories, all the pain and fighting, everything in his world stood still. Suddenly the engines of the plane could no longer be heard and the noisiness of take off was silenced by the one and only thought that remained inside of him, the one and only thought that would consume him for the next eight hours over the icy Atlantic Ocean and the one and only thought that would consume him for possibly the rest of his life. As the plane finally became airborne Derek held back his tears and gripped hard on the cold handles of his seat, he wondered if he was ever going to see his son again.

This is the beginning of a novel that i started to write not to long ago. I stopped writing it, not becuase i ran out of ideas or becuase i got bored of it, but because i realized that if i kept writing it, it would never have an ending.

I guess what i realized is that a book has to have a beginning a middle and an end, and well, my story doesn't have that yet. One day i'll be ready to finish my book and i will do just that, but for now i'm just along for the ride.

Life's a journey, not a destination.

Jesse Roulette
Writing novel's One at a Time

Websters my ass

At the top of this site there is a line that reads: 

"A blog dedicated to all the feelings and emotions that we all have inside of us and the passion for life that is sometimes hard to find."

It's been a while since I have written anything here, or anything at all for that matter, but i was looking at that little line and started thinking about what some of those words really mean.

Words like:

Dedicated or dedication

Feelings

Emotions

Passion

and Life.

All of these words mean different things to different people at different times in our lives, so to define them here would probably be a waste of time. The important thing is that we can recognize that these words exist and try to use them on a daily basis. 

Look these words up in a dictionary and find the technical definition, then try to figure out what they mean to you. I promise you it won't be the same. 

These words are constantly changing in definition according to the events we expeiriance throughout our life. If you were to think about what these words mean to you once a month you might be surprised to find that they don't always mean the same thing to you. 

For instance the word "Feelings" can change drasticly according to our expeiriances in life. A year ago when i thought of the word "Feelings" i would have associated it with things like sadness, guilt, pain, anger, hate and probabaly a lot of other depressing feelings. Now ask me to think about the word "Feelings" and i would give you words like love, happiness, excitment, passion and other words that describe things that bring joy in life. 

The point is that if "Life is a highway" then our feelings are the road signs and landmarks along the way. We can always know where we have been in life by thinking about how we felt at certain times and thinking about what the word "Feelings" means to us now. 

Knowing how we've felt at certain points in our past can be a great way of recognizing feelings we might have in the future and it can be a great way of learning how to react to our feelings but never forget that even though we can learn a lot from the past, the only time and place that really matters is right now and right here. 

Jesse Roulette

Changing definitions One at a Time